cooked food eaters anonymous

i was trying to hold out until somebody solved the foot mystery, but it just doesn't seem like that is gonna happen. i'm not gonna lie; i'm a little disappointed in y'all. a little summer sleuthing, maybe an opportunity to visit british columbia. i would have done it myself, but, you know, duty calls. or at least not doing a whole lot calls.
i went to go see that phish band again last friday. i can't remember if i have mentioned them before. they are called simple and they play at my bar sometimes. they do a pretty darn good job, really. much better than, say, the band that plays a couple phish songs every show but is not exclusively a phish band, i.e. cover tops or super happy fun time american jam band or whatever they are or mr. blotto. in any event, it is a great occasion to go and have some drinks and a good time. they did not disappoint.
we haggled the cover charge, which is something i had not done previously, but it was kind of funny. the same door guy is always there, but i don't know if he recognizes me or not. it was supposed to be seven bucks each (the door guy also said there were three bands; thankfully it was just the one), and i was going in with two other people. so i'm kind of giving him a hard time, all like c'mon man. cut us a break, let us in three for fifteen. and he just laughs long and deep, and he is naturally large, being a door-man, and so it is quite a bellow. he comes off as pretty incredulous about my offer. he's all nah, nah, man, we can't do that. he says it has to be sixteen for the three of us.
me sister, as some of you may know, is going to live in london for like nine months or something coming up pretty soon. she recently confirmed her housing plans, which will be in a university dorm. she will have no kitchen, but rather catered british dorm food. this prospect should appeal to no one, and rightly so she has considered alternatives, including raw food. so we were walking around and went into a bookstore to check out some raw food cookbooks. all i have to say is fuck those people. one book was alright, gave the green light to for real cheese and prosciutto and stuff. apparently the cutoff is 115 degrees fahrenheit. most of the books were pretty lame, mostly just half directions on how to make substitutes for things people actually eat and then recipes utilizing those substitutes.
one book really pissed me off, by some fuckhead vegan new york assholes with a bullshit restaurant. that one was subtitled "how to get the glow". apparently these people think that those on a raw food diet acquire some sort of glow after a month or so. the whole thing was super sexualized, which was kind of bizarre. the layout of the whole book reminded me of cosmo. every sentence i read made me want to punch those responsible in the face. snobby shit about the importance of using the filtration process that japanese hospitals do and so forth. what the fuck? whatever water you drink probably wasn't cooked, i don't think, but i guess i don't really know. i'm probably preaching to the choir, that is, the six people i already know who might read this, but seriously people, just let folks eat what they want and don't be a dick about it. my sister made a great joke when i read a line aloud from the book: "you can spot a raw foodie (NOT MARKED!?!? FOODIE IS NOT A WORD!!! god dammit, spell check) in a crowded room instantly." "yeah, they'll be the person who isn't eating anything."
after that, my sister bought me a delicious beer at tria, which i mentioned like 8 months ago. it is a place with dank beer, cheese, and wine. i had a heavy seas hang ten, which is like an imperial dunkelweizen. this beer should not be, but it is. and it is pretty delicious. she had a dogfish head festina pesche, which is a fucking amazing summer beer with wide distribution. wherever you are, you can probably find it, and you should probably drink as much as you can the next time you are so hot as to be unhappy. it fixes that problem rather well.
i am currently drinking ten high. it is an alleged bourbon, sour mash and such. it is pretty fucking vile as far as i can tell. i am not sure if this is because i haven't been drinking much in the way of liquor in a long time, or if it is just that bad. seven a fifth, and that is pretty dirt cheap here. i probably shouldn't have bought it, but whatever. it was just a day where i didn't feel like doing much. the thing that sounded the best was to drink liquor and watch a comedic film, which i will do after i am done typing this.
as everybody probably knows, i was home for a while between the last post and this one too. not much to say about that, since everybody is pretty much up to speed. but thanks to everyone for being there and having a good time with me and making it a worthwhile excursion. i saw just about everybody i wanted to see save one or two. i did run into one major Issue, but i actually feel like i handled it really well. in fact, it may be my best handling of a Thing in like three years or something. my reactions throughout recent history haven't been renown for their efficacy or prudence exactly. so that felt alright. all in all, a successful journey, other than being too poor to go to rothbury, although my time during that tenure was top notch to be sure.
my visit to gun rue was followed by a visit of my brothers and father to the city of brotherly love. this also went alright in my opinion. it was kind of strange, because i had seen all those people for a couple weeks running up to the visit and wasn't bound to spend time with them the whole while, as they were fully capable of wandering about the city on their own or under the guidance of my sister. the significant outcome was that i acquired some delicious meals i did not pay for, along with some groceries and case of stone i.p.a.. all in all, a good time. an additional visit to tria occurred, much to my delight. they are currently offering the dankest of all potato chips. say what you want about chips, but if you say you do not like them you are probably lying. these are herbed or whatever and the dip features truffle oil. fucking dank. but the cheese of course was the real star, my personal highlight was a boerenkaas i had not seen the likes of since the fatherland. also a great cheddar and a somewhat funky brie, which was good but not really as much my thing.
in other news of good fortune, we made a good quizzo showing the other night, but not high enough to place for a gift certificate. however, we did win free beer as a team, and i was personally redeemed in the shout-out round. what causes a butterfly rash on the face centered around the nose and is an autoimmune disorder? attention house (the show not the electronic music genre) fans: it was totally lupus. i guessed, but it worked. not only is it funny because it was lupus, it is funny because i won a box of fruit snacks and a slightly misshapen decorative fruit, a "lemon". when i got back to my place, my buddy was all like, man, those fruit snacks are old. i disagreed. but they are monsters, inc. fruit snacks. that movie has been out some time. so long, in fact, that marketing tie-ins are also somewhat dated. these fruit snacks were like two months from expiration. although they were not expired, what kind of shelf life do fruit snacks have? pretty long, i'm thinking. so yeah, they were pretty old. i have eaten most of them. they are much better than my last quizzo food win, which was macaroon cookies.
this saturday i am making my first foray into the notorious state of new jersey. i will be going to atlantic city. i will hopefully not gamble. or stay at a casino, or anywhere. no, i will go to the house fo blues, aka the house of westernized eastern religions. i will see the mighty clutch. it has been a while, and i am excited. unfortunately, it is a very large bill, in terms of bands and ticket plus silly charges. originally bad brains was going to play and that excited me but they are not listed anymore. i am also concerned over the fate of the hammond b3 player as he has not been on the last two tours without any announcement from the band. well, whatever, at least clutch will headline, and that's more than they have done in this a longstanding stronghold of the band since i have moved to it. i will probably tell you all more than you want to know about it later.
my current internet obsession is the brick testament. if you have not availed yourself of this business yet, it comes highly recommended. it is a good portion of the bible which is illustrated. but see, the illustrations are all pictures of impeccably designed lego scenes. it is an impressive obsession that this person has shared with us all via the internet. i have a friend who has not read the bible, but i showed it to him and he got hooked. i do not think that this makes me an evangelist, but i really believe that people should read the bible. it is compelling on many levels, and at the least some selections make for intriguing reading. if you have dealt with the bible for a couple decades like many people i know, this presentation is simple amusing to the max.
i continue to listen to an awful lot of the avett brothers. i cannot say enough good things about this band. they make simple music, but they do what they do so well. i really consider it to be something that would appeal to more people than a lot of what i listen to. if you have not heard this band and cannot be bothered to somehow make it happen on your own but would like to listen to them, let me know. i will gladly facilitate expanded appreciation of these people and their music, because it is absolutely amazing and surprisingly unique.
that most of what i have to say i think. it is now time to watch a funny movie, which is what i have wanted to do all day. i think i will watch best in show because i have not seen it in quite a while and it is one of the few movies i have. also, i got into an argument defending it the other night and realized i wasn't as familiar with it as i wanted to be. and so cheap liquor and mockumentary laffs it is. good day.