in which i review the shit out of chinese democracy

i love the leading off with "in which" and i decided to snag that one, thanks to my sister and i think someone else a little while ago and the beginning of the let it be album. i've been giving chinese democracy a lot of thought since the most recent and finally true release information came out. hope i don't jinx it somehow, since it hasn't technically been released yet. i like guns and roses just fine, but they are not exactly my favorite of all time. i think they squandered what they had in a lot of instances. but they also made some pretty damn good music. enough to make me pretty curious about what axl rose would do over the course of fifteen years with a small army of sometimes bandmates. they're streaming it now, and i'm not doing much, and i was mostly unsatisfied with the reviews i've read thus far. so i am going to review it myself. probably favorably. if you do not want to hear a lot about chinese democracy, do not read this. or for a fun trick, imagine all references to the title of the release refer to the notion of democracy in china. don't forget your free doctor pepper.
starts out epically enough by building with ambient noise and gradually crescendoing unintelligable speaking? deliberate note-by-note guitar lead in before dropping into super heavy riff and an old school axl howl. starts off with pantera-esque bombast, giving way to prevalent overdubs of axl over himself in his upper end of the range. the rocking guitar is enough to carry this track on its own, although it seems to shift a lot, i am assuming different people played parts for this one. but hot damn. the song is satisfying overall, even if most of it sounds like late 90s metal acts (the ones not flirting with rap stylings) that had obvious g n r influences and a sick lead guitarist.
i guess the next one has been out for a while, and it is pretty grating at first blush. it sounds like it wants to grind along like something that could keep background, but then decides to assert itself rather intensely again. this one is a little over the top but not in a funny yet totally awesome way like the finest gunners stuff, just kind of silly, screams pay attention to me. there are a lot of abrupt changes, and now the sort of barked vocal noises are more like the awesome stuff i was references. but it has to change again and end the monkey noises, and just goes in reverse like it had started out. a definite listening experience, intriguing if not entirely pleasurable to hear.
things slow down at start out with a sort of trippy drum track and vocals. things snap together into a lean riffing mid-tempo rocker that trudges on methodically before predictably once again giving away dramatically and cranking it up to eleven. this is really my kind of track at some points, and it seems like axl might have actually been paying attention to the world around him and not just what he already had. i like that he managed to pick up some influences of major-league indie rock (not an oxymoron, i say). overall, my favorite track so far.
ballad time, which for axk means piano plinking time. i can dig that. stays pretty low key for a while before going monster ballad style. pretty old school right here. the strings come in to complete the scene. crunching riff and a guitar solo that doesn't soar quite as high as it could or should, no reason not to sustain the notes on something like this. it goes all the right places, but there are way better solos in this set, and that would have been prime time for one that was wasted alongside another elsewhere on the record. false ending, oh hell yes. almost makes the guitar fail forgivable, this is what i love about this band, epic cheese and unashamed. great structure to that track.
next one starts out with some flamenco guitar over electronica drum machines before a funk riff and strings (why now?) kick in. very strange stuff, axl trying to move in new direction is interesting. i hate to say it, but chuck kobesaw was totally right about this song. he said it sounds like a late pierce brosnan-era bond film both titularly and musically: "if the world". this is the counterpart to when the smashing pumpkins tried their hand with electronica influences for that batman and robin movie around that time. so while it is an update on gnr, it is not really current. total gorillaz moment there, sounds good but also dated and derivitive. it is not bad, just kind of forced indutrial sounding.
next one kicks off with some choir and then jerks into something that sounds like the backbone of a mid-tempo rap song. things shift into ballad mode again, and once again there is a lot of muscle backing it. this is some classic axl singing. there are some strange samples kind of muffled in the background, chalk that up partially to streaming from myspace i guess. kind of dragging a little before getting to the guitar solo, this one is more appropriately sonorous, if a little mournful, appropriate for the melancholy lyrics. everything comes together for a while before another solo, this one more of the bitchin' variety. things get pretty extreme here as they really rock it out, very well-orchestrated. incredible guitar part, really letting it all go. the conclusion is exactly what is expected, and does not disappoint at all for what it should be, and bring that choir back to finish things up.
another plodding rocker with a desparate, dramatic feel. this song would probably be much more appealing in a different place in the order, but at least the synthetic drums elements aren't present three times in a row. more good to great guitar work, enough to spare. this song is a somewhat definite member of a species, and a fine specimen at that, but out of its natural habitat. the listen begins to take on a little bit of an indulgent feel at this point. i must say the piano playing is right on and the guitar remains a respectful distance at appropriate times. this song is like a mountain without a peak, carrying a lot of weight and considerable height but it doesn't lead to anything in particular since it tries to be the big punch everytime the music shifts.
this starts out with some positively ridiculous vocal exercizes, almost an r&b kind of a thing but with an awful lot of axl. the guitar is menacing but immediately loses its effect as a result of the high-pitched response backup vocals and becomes merely cartoonish. once those go away, this goes back to the late 90s power metal feel and does do a great job of it, yet remains consistent with the proto-version of the sound the band named the same thing these guys are using did early in its career. predictably, the backup vocals return for the refrain. i don't really care for most things that come of as trying to be anthematic, and this song crosses the line at certain points. if i spent fifteen years on this song, i think i would realize that the lyrics sounded a little ludicrous even by gunners cheese standards. don't try and stop you axl? don't worry about it. we all wanted that dr. pepper.
this doesn't sound like axl at all at first, or like gnr for that matter. axl just did something really really weird with his voice there. slow tune but not a ballad. wait for it, you know it is coming... psychedelic rock out. the whole thing is like some perverse interpretation of late-era beatles and its descendents up to and including the turn of the century. yet another stylistic element comes into play with a notably bluesy guitar solo. the song takes on a very comfortable feel, a more resigned angst than the bitter nervousness that gives some gnr material its edge. this is like a take on alice in chains, and it works out well overall. still, a lot going on and some parts are better than others.
brooding opening, tries to be spooky and then spacy before picking up a dancy feel for a moment. more vocal shenanigans before any lyrics. another abrupt change here, another strange electronic noise there. rocking out pretty hard for the most part, a song that lurches between classic driving guns and roses and iron maiden filler album cuts. those vocal shenanigans return, and it sounds like he is almost trying to do his own immigrant song thing. fortunately, guitars to the rescue. pretty sweet, sounds like something zakk wylde might play.
classic rock time, and they do it up right and proper. there is a fine line between a feel-good song you just want to sing along to and trying to be anthematic, and axl gets it right this time around. i don't know the words yet, but i am considering learning them and ordering a whiskey and putting this on a jukebox somewhere for a good time. not that i would really be able to keep up with some of the screeching axl does here. i really wonder when that part of the vocal track dates to. this one is a highlight for me, but there isn't any real ending to it, which is unfortunate, i wouldn't have been opposed to another false ending in all honesty.
horns first, then strings on top of it. once again, it is unclear who is even singing here. it is the same person always, but it wavers between sounding like axl rose sounds and sounding like no one else ever has sounded. kind of strange. things slow back down but not too far. more mechanical-sounding drums drive a steady pace, and things culminate with the guitar paired along more samples from cool hand luke and something else, i don't know. the strings add some bravado at the right time but then put things back to where they came from after a brief rock-out. for some reason this track seems like it should be the last one on the record. it is just that kind of a song. not bad, not the greatest all the time, but really good when you want to hear it. when you don't want to hear it you can be pretty comfortable about ending the listen there, and that is why it should be last. anytime you sample martin luther king jr, that is just something that should finish things. this one fades out the way it should but the final strings flourish is a little unnecessary.
this is not a cool ballad right now. painful axl. too much, even the piano isn't doing it for me right now. predictable strings. the soft music just makes axl seem that much more piercing. this is one of those times he should stay down in the range. the mandatory guitar solo is quality but restrained.
the final cut is not as good as the song that should have ended the album, but it does have that same the record finishes here feel. the two songs are relatively disparate, but they accomplish the same feel in different ways. this one almost seems even more deliberately crafted for that regard. makes sense, if you're going to spend fifteen years on something and keep it from sprawling out of control, presumably you also have an interest in some album-craft to the point of specific beginning and closing songs. this is a long, dramatic, choreographed farewell sequence. it serves its purpose well. personally, i was so ready to say goodbye at the twelth track that i am more than ready to do so with this one. it was, however, good to me.
all of these songs are really full of ideas and the 15 years thing makes some sense. i think he could have made just as good of a record, and bizarrely as cohesive, if he just spread things out instead of trying to do too much at once. this could have wound up like the white album. being what it is, chinese democracy stands even less of a chance of a fair review than just about anything else in some time.
people almost always approach any given thing with the sum of their life's experiences in relation to whatever the context is. lots of things factor in, and just about all of them, at the end of the day, are opinions. the point is, a lot of people have a lot of opinions about this record before they have even heard it. it works that way for everything, but in this instance, those opinions are particularly strong among certain segments of the population, namely just about everyone who has any interest in hearing a guns and roses album that was fifteen years in the making and is made up of basically axl rose and a bunch of other dudes who are not recognized for their extensive credits on previous studio material under the name guns and roses. those are just a few of the aspects that make people inclined to either want to love or loathe this record.
music is by its nature a very subjective thing, but the people interested in chinese democracy can probably agree on a few basic things. axl rose has previously been involved with quality studio material. he is, whatever else one might say about him, a reasonably talented individual. fifteen years is a lot of time to spend working on a single release. there are therefore bound to be at least some good points about chinese democracy.
all that aside, people have several reasons to know how they want to feel about this music before they have even heard it. admittedly, i wanted to like it. i also wanted to appraoch it as objectively as possible, but it just doesn't work like that. music is a language that doesn't function as one. this is why everyone has different ipods and pandora stations, and moreso why you'll always skip something on someone else itunes library or especially why your carefully whittled internet radio station eventually plays something you have no interest in hearing or downright detest. the pandora thing is based on the objective elements, and sometimes they just do not add up right at all.
this is not too far off from what is going on with chinese democracy. axl has an established palette to draw from, but he adds to it appropriately for the most part. the occasional offending elements are certainly present, but most of the time, this record is actually precisely what it should be considering the incubation and perfectionism. it has its own relative spectrum of good and bad. as a whole, though, this is really pretty good music. everything on chinese democracy is well-crafted if a little too deliberate at times. it deserves to be listened to closely. i just wrote down my first impressions and certainly went back for more. if you think you would like something like what was described above, this will be worth checking out. if you don't like guns and roses, of course you won't like it. if you think fifteen years means it will be the best album ever, you won't like it. if you just want to listen to a strange record some time, you might like it.

i heart google ads

i did find something to do yesterday after that blog post. it was quite an adventure, but it is not the story i intend to tell at this time. right now, all i want to say is:
(link) Supreme Court
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hot dog

oh man i just ate a couple of pretty excellent hot dogs. on par with epic sandwiches? not quite. it is, after all, a hot dog. however, this has been a breakthrough in its own realm. this was achieved with the assistance of the achewood cookbook. a number of small but important adjustments make all the difference. first of all, toasting the bun. this is very simple and absolutely key. also, cooking in a little bit of water in a frying pan. this is probably the ideal way of heating the dog, very even and undamaging. typically all i really care about on a hotdog is ketchup; other things seem to get in the way of this basic enjoyment. i do like onions, but you never need a whole onion's worth of onion for a hot dog or two. fortunately, roommates with the assist. the fridge had half a small red onion (still only needed a couple slices), some dank mustard and crucial relish. this was truly the budget gormet, and having the little things required in small amounts on hand makes all the difference. i have not felt this good about eating a hot dog in some time. i mean, yesterdog is good, but it has been a long time and also i still recall that one almost never feels good about eating yesterdog.
the whole hot dog thing started with a conversation a couple days ago that dwelled on them for a while, although i cannot recall the exact point of the conversation. i awoke the next morning with an acute desire to eat a hot dog. i thought about it for a second and decided that was a silly thought. after a while i realized the craving had been ignited by that conversation and that i still wanted a hot dog. after about four hours i decided that i really truly did want a hot dog and would probably be pretty satisfied if i had one. it isn't a huge investment, after all, and they make for reasonably priced personal food units. and so i did indeed purchase hot dogs to sate myself and i thought it hit the spot. i must say that the much-desired albeit overly and unevenly microwaved and ketchup-slathered object possessed a very small fraction of the crude culinary delight i have just experienced.
the point is, sometimes the little things kill, and sometimes the little things never let you down, never run around and desert you. if you have also gone some time without a hotdog, you should probably have one. a delicious one. that goes double if you are a vegetarian. no matter who you are, do it for taste. do it for america. do it for freedom.
sweet jesus, did i just write a blog post about hotdogs and close out with references to bush and rick astley? i should probably go do something.

breaking news

i am not up to a whole lot. very little, in fact. just wanted to keep you posted. in non-news:
exams are drawing perilously near. i have not been over-committed to concerning myself with them, but we are approaching the point where there is just too much ambient angsting to ignore around the school. in that environment, the worst things thrive and multiply. this is one of the many reasons i do not like to study there. there is so much anxiety and fear-mongering and even the inoculated succumb to the pandemic. i'm doing my best though. i'm not going to buy any fucking flash cards. all answers will be in the book. i already bought that. these people go through life solving problems by throwing money at them. i try to solve most problems by doing nothing. recent studies suggest that the two approaches have a nearly identical success rate. both of course fail when compared to logical, well-reasoned courses of action. that being said, i think logical inactions result from the preferred method more often than monetary transactions do. the takeaway comfort here is that, in law school at least, i am confident that i am just as well off as those poor souls oozing stress and returning that unique and putrid scent to the bunker we call a school. i don't know if it is them or flooding or something dead in the heating system anymore. however, the proximity of actual events does demand some attention that may or may not be forthcoming, as remains to be seen.
and just a little more law school: this morning i had the misfortune to sit by people before class. these were the sorts referred to above. amid other exam bitching, a girl mentions that she "doesn't get" why explanations for answers are an essential part of law school exams. after all, if she knows the answer, why should she ever need to understand it? just like math, she says: if she can write down the correct answer, why should a showing of methodology be demanded? foolishness, but a basic sort. this is only the set-up, though. then she adds that professors should assume she possesses requisite understanding if she has a correct answer because, of course, "i'm already in law school, they don't let idiots in here." shoot me now, folks.
just a little more law school: that one girl i used to complain about and may or may not have labelled as my personal nemesis? i have a class with her this year again. as it turns out, she is not so bad. not entirely unpleasant to talk with. really a pretty alright human being. i do not know which of us changed much, if either or both, but i suspect it is largely perception. although i swear she was a real bitch last year. we're not going to be best friends forever or anything, but she is a friendly acquaintance at this point.
not law school: i am currently sporting a moustache i must say i feel pretty good about. the beard is not entirely gone because for one thing, i didn't want it to be, and for another thing, that would require a razor that i do not own and do not wish to purchase. so basically i trimmed everything pretty far down except the moustace. the ends are curled up and kind of point toward my nose, as they can't quite complete the full circle yet. with a little more length or a bit of murray's, this should be doable. it is pretty silly, but also pretty old school. it goes well with the notorious h.a.t.. the best explaination so far is that i look like other a prospector or haberdasher. also, take that, law school. hah, snuck it in there on you.
pandora is treating me pretty well these days on jimi hendrix radio. the cool thing about pandora isn't always so much discovering a new artist with more than one song you dig or a deep cut from a favorite as much as it is hearing music you know and love but do not get to hear very often and wish you had purchased back when you bought a ton of music. the kind of albums a friend has and you always meant to get a copy of and never did. music you knew you like but had no idea how much.
recently made a christmas list. strange exercise, really. i'm not sure what it says about someone, but a collection of twelve or so items that one would enjoy but not necessarily independently purchase says something. it was also bizarre to put it together as a series of hyperlinks. a good thing, really, as there are more things available through the internet than any physical place in the world on its own. i do not understand how dhl fucked up in an era where so many things are shipped, but that is neither here nor there. i was able to suggest something that doesn't even exist in the specific form, and there is some mystical appeal to personalization these days. people have commissioned things for a long time, and this is simpler, but i think the appeal is somewhat similar.
finished that riddley walker book a while ago. very thought-provoking. my preferred kind of fiction, good story with lots of hazy metaphor and playing with language. the style forces you to constantly think and interpret and makes for slow going, but is ultimately fairly rewarding. if you don't like the idea of reading a book with everything spelled unconventionally, then you should probably make sure you do not read this book. if the concept doesn't bother you and you enjoy literature from when people still worried about nuclear war a whole bunch, this comes highly recommended.
the heater is finally kicking on. it has turned cold here, but no snow yet by any means. allegedly some shall fall soon, but i remain skeptical about its significance. i actually kind of want to see some snow fall though, and might even go outside and look. in any event, i am sure i will see enough when i go peninsula stlye. yeah, i went there. should be back on or around a week before christmas, and for a while. looking forward to seeing everyone.

tonight is a good night i think for updating neglected blogs

if you are picking up what i am putting down that is good and we are friends. if you are not, we are friends and you should spend more time with your friends at qwantz.com, official home of always making me laugh on the internet. i believe i have mentioned this previously, but i also believe that it bears repeating.
what have i been doing? the same things i normally do. i have been remiss in relating many adventures of the past month or whatever it has been. some of these adventures: philly won that world series, there was some dancing in the streets. they had a parade on a day that also happened to be halloween. i wore a milk crate on my head most of that day in the crude semblance of a costume. i did the same thing at night that i did last year and chronicled in this space and it seems like a lot of time has passed. i went to go see rocky horror picture show as a stage production. my friend was frank n furter and he showed up just about everybody else by being fucking amazing. another friend was also in the production and i was unaware of that until he emerged as rocky from the lab table wearing very very little. i taught my buddy how to brew beer. despite my repetition of the fact, he was still amazed at the ease of the process. i went to baltimore and hung out with mando and the dwy. we went here. there was good beer and delicious garlic-rosemary fries. that man who speaks eloquently and raises hell of funds won a contest that night too. i assume the people who live in this house around the corner (across from the old place) from me were pretty excited. seriously, click that link and look around. i promise that one will not barackroll you.anyway, i probably did some other stuff over that month that was fun too but is not presently springing to mind.
law school is still law school. i don't know if i hate it less than i used to or if i just hate it differently. i choose classes now and i feel like maybe i could do some kind of lawyering perhaps someday, i don't know. trademarks are pretty alright. there are still a lot of unpleasant people to be around though and i do not feel like i am engaging with things too much or even like i could if i just tried a little harder. it is less fun now because one of my best friends is not going anymore. i mean, the people i am friends with at law school share my distaste for the ordeal, but we are mostly talk and stuff. but she is gone and it is kind of different not having one of five people i am actually friends with not be there anymore. but she lives close by now. i can't blame her for doing what she is doing and i do not know if i wish i could or not.
i have not been forced to leave my current housing due to lack of respect or anything else. i like living here and i think i do better when i have people around. my hope of working more and harder because i lived alone mostly just resulted in being lonely and having a lot of trouble getting out of bed for like anything except class. i wonder what will happen in a year when some of my friends here say they will move to portland. i would like to move to portland maybe. it seems to be a pretty common sentiment among the people i know and spend time with. but i have things to do here. nobody knows what will happen ever.
i have had some pretty exceptional brews over the last month too. victory's hop wallop is out again and you should enjoy some of that. i found founders harvest ale and i was happy to find it and happier to sip it. weyerbacher's fresh hop was also top notch. i must say i was not overwhlemed by that magic hat you kids have been extolling, the fall brown whatever it was. it was okay. i look forward to tring the winter odd notion. roxy rolles is out again too. i cannot recall if i mentioned that imperial pumpkin ale or not. if you ask and also say nice things to me i might bring one for you for christmas. it is pretty remarkable. the real revelation in the world of brew for me over this past stretch has been some heady cans. i knew oskar blues' dale's pale ale pretty well, the ultimate beer for events where you can bring beer but not in glass. that could not have prepared me for the big fat malt fest of old chub scotch ale (watch out old founders dirty bastard) or the sticky hoppy nirvana of gordon. i do not know why these folks wanted to do the can thing; they do not need a gimmick.
i have been enjoying the musical stylings of band of horses. as usual, i am not at the forefront or anything, but those guys are pretty frigging good man. i have a fever and the only cure is more reverb on the vocals. i get the my morning jacket comparisons and i like both but i hear some pretty significant differences. horses have put out much less material and thus it seems to me like they are more consistently good, but that is because my pandora keeps playing obscure primitive mmj tracks. i have also been digging on modest mouse and do not think their most recent album is quite as bad as everyone else does. also on the music front, tea leaf green is playing a lot of shows pretty close by but not in the city. i am pretty frustrated because i can't seem to find a way to any of these gigs. hopefully something will give; i have to believe there are other people on the internet who are making at least the short trip to lancaster, if not stroudsburg and towson. i am listening to the most recent philly show and i still recall it as one of the best nights of my whole life.
i feel like i haven't really gotten much on the table here, and yet the whole typing is kind of cathartic. questions or comments? please fill out a survey card and put it in the box.